Been thinking about failure a lot lately. I don’t take it so well. Suppose no one does really but my stride gets broken up by it far more than I let on sometimes. One of the big things is that I don’t want to give up the ship even when the holes are gaping and I know it’s not gonna make it to shore. I’ll struggle on with a broken paddle and half a sail rather than just let it settle and make a swim for it on my own. I never feel more depressed than when I am forced to acknowledge the futility of a situation I wanted so badly to work. Gotta know when to put the damn duct tape away and sink the fucking ship.