The mind wanders.

If I were ever for some reason to find myself in a fight to the death at a Waffle House, I believe that my weapon of choice would be a fresh pot of coffee. No, really! Imagine if you will being punched in the face with a hot pot of coffee…Seriously. I think it’s far worse than you may have ever considered. First, there’s the punching of the face…plenty bad enough all on it’s own yeah, but add to that: broken glass and piping hot liquid mushed repeatedly into your face and eyes.

Man…that would just not be a happy bunny sort of feeling.

Well, for the recipient maybe. I imagine that I’d do a great deal of malicious giggling as I ducked out after.

30 thoughts on “The mind wanders.

  1. not to mention the scalding coffee INSIDE THE VERY GLASS SHARD WOUNDS INFLICTED MILLISECONDS PRIOR. all in all? a lethally effective, if only one time use, weapon. the three B’s. Blinding, Bleeding, Burning.

      1. not to mention the humiliation as people point and whisper, “that guy just got smacked upside the head with a coffee pot!” you’re right; it’s pretty fuckin bad.

  2. Someones got horrible fantasies about destroying somebody with strange objects hehe I’m sure if I was still working at the coffee shop at the Atlanta airport I’d really like to do the same thing myself. I did experience a scalding pot of coffee all over me, minus the glass, but that was due to being the only person doing any work and rushing, not because I was in a fight!

  3. …but honestly? if this were Battle Royale: Waffle House edition? dude. fully-heated, open, waffle iron upside the head. not only do you get the hefty weight, you get the sizzle of the waffle pattern along with the whump of the impact.

  4. Keyword being FRESH coffee. If it’s sat for an hour it’s useless. LOL! Normally it’s what you get served too. 😛

  5. a waffle house ninja such as yourself can turn anything into a weapon. I see what your weapon of choice is. good choice. better than flinging hot grilled cheese in the face of an adversary and not as obvious as boiling hot fry oil. The broken glass teamed with piping hot liquid inside and a nifty handle to sling at someone makes it a perfect weapon. I fear your skills. 🙂

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