Relapse after 38 days.
I’ve had about a million of them. In Atlanta I don’t think I was serious enough to really get myself cleaned up. Just wasn’t ready. Just didn’t want it. Well, I want it now. I am tired of constantly destroying my life and then spending all of the energy I have trying to constantly rebuild it and repair the damage done.
This time I have destroyed my relationship and nearly had family turn their backs on me because of it. Nether of these are a first. I’ve lost a lot to my drinking and my drug abuse over the years. I am just hopeful that I can pull myself out of the fire one last time and make this take. Maybe even get her back…that’s too far away to think about now.
Point is, it’s time. It’s been time for a long time and I see that more clearly than ever. Even through the haze of tears I am fighting back as I type this. That’s all. Back to square/day 1.